November 19, 2014

the girl who hated november, a poem

(alternately titled: "the girl who loved january, february, march, april, may, june, july, august, september, october & december but NOT november!!! ugh!!! we should all just totally kill november!!")

there once was a girl who hated november,
when october would end, with a shiver she'd tremor (and not just because last night was halloween and it was spooky! even though she totally went to a haunted house with mark on halloween and she pretended to act more scared than she was and he like gave her his jacket and ALMOST held her hand but then a skeleton jumped out at him- seriously, mark? a skeleton? whatever he's cute though)
slowly and sadly she'd take down decorations
and mentally prepare for the november duration.
"i mean, who invented november?" she huffed with a sigh,
"it should go from october, straight to the bearded guy!
november's SO lame- now I have to wait a whole month,
to get my new laptop and Jimmy Choo pumps!!
there's a reason for the "n" and "o" in your name: 
because NObody wants you, you shouldn't have came! 
and while we're at it, march should go too- 
my birthday's in april and that just WON'T do. 
I can't have a whole month stealing my thunder! 
we'll have the first two months, then april, then october, then decunder! (december. it's a poem go with it.)
may through to august are too hot and too stuffy,
they make me all sweaty and my hair goes all puffy.
september's a given, who wants school anyway?
I learned all I need to from KUWTK*.
now that I think of it, jan & feb are a bummer! 
can I get rid of those, and take back the summer?
probs just july and I'll get a quick tan,
 while I hit up the beach and snag me a man!
I'll say bye-bye to mark, that little scaredy-cat,
he can take october with him- all that candy makes me fat.
so now that leaves april, july and december,
and winter is cool, but there's this time I remember:
when I wanted a doll but my aunt gave me SOCKS,
man, sometimes christmas totally sucks!!! 
I guess it's between my birth and july,
but if I keep having birthdays, then someday I'll die!!
so if I take that away, I'll just live forever
on a beach in the sun with the hottie Heath Ledger!"

so there once was girl who hated the entire calendar,
she also didn't know Heath Ledger died in 2008 so please, i beg of you, don't tell her.

*Keeping up with the Kardashians


  1. i thoroughly enjoyed this! :D
    My favorite part: then october, then decunder! (december. it's a poem go with it.)

  2. So deep ! So true ! Oh hell decunder