hit me with your best shot

Miss me? Neither did I. BUT I'M BACK IN BLACK SUCKAS! Literally I'm wearing all black to mark the death of September and birth of October but it feels like July and I'm super duper hot. I'm also extremely warm oh ZING!!! Anyways my short hiatus is due to the endless hours spent watching Parenthood and studying the contours of Miles Heizer's face, having nightmares about my bleak future if I keep watching Parenthood and studying the contours of Miles Heizer's face, blog-block and a very boring September. And since it's technically still September, I won't dive into the October-eerieness quite yet. Instead, I'm going to share a beautiful thing I've come into contact with recently that I've also spent time oggling (is that a word) over. This wonderful thing is Bullett Magazine, a fashion, media and art quarterly that is absolutely FABULOUS. Their Fall 2012 issue is Romance themed and features Aaron Johnson (who is now Aaron Taylor-Johnson after an unfortunate recent marriage to a 50 year old transvestite. Okay, that's only half true. BUT LOVE IS LOVE I GUESS, KIDS), and colorful, intriguing articles. The issue radiates nostalgic-whimsical-cotton-candy-fairy-puppy-love-romantic vibes. I took it upon myself to scan my favorite spreads to share (even though I now realize I can get them off their website) and we can all oggle (still don't know if this is a word it has the red squiggly line!!!*&^) at the beauty that is Bullett Magazine.

  Hooray for awkward image placing/spacing! And hooray for Bullett Magazine!

Visit their website: http://bullettmedia.com/ and buy an issue today! On sale at Mosaic Books ;) :P :S :\ :) :D...........................................................BYE

meet me in montauk

“How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!

The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d;”

people that make me want to die pt. 1

SO, it's hot. And summery. AND NOT FALL WEATHER WHATSOEVER. And since the only things I can think about posting are Christina Ricci's perfect braids in the Addams Family, or Thora Birch's gum boots in Hocus Pocus and color-changing hair in Ghost World, or the rules of a successful teen horror flick, it is not the time. Not just yet. Especially with this heat sticking around it's hard to get into the whimsical spirit of things. SO, instead I will go on a rampage of self loathing (not actually I LOVE myself WAY too much just kidding no actually though) over people who are obviously not real and just hallucinations created by the entertainment industry to belittle innocent victims and trick us into worshipping said hallucinations because they are so perfect in every way. And in keeping with NYFW, it seems fitting that my first contestant is...

Cara Delevingne

This girl is just so effortlessly cool and quirky and silly and gorgeous and ugh!!!!!! Look at her hair! Her eyebrows! Her cheekbones! Her style! Her life!!!! Can I be her please? I don't wanna cry just...hold me.

how to be as cool as winona ryder

I don't know about you, but one of the things (among many others) that keeps me up at night, is the fact I'm not the late (she's not dead), great (it just sounded better if it rhymed) Winona Ryder. If fall could be embodied by a single being, it would be this gal. She is possibly one of the eeriest, most stylish, chillest, most hauntingly beautiful human being ever... So I put my sleepless nights to use and created this list, or, "how-to" for lonely wanna-be's like myself to achieve the level of coolness Winona has layed forth upon this world*.

1. Be a movie-star:

Winona starred in some of the WORLD'S GREATEST FILMS OF ALL TIME and if you don't agree with me go ahead and watch: Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands, Reality Bites, Mermaids, The Heathers, Girl, Interrupted... see what I mean? So, obviously, the first step to becoming Winona Ryder/as cool as Winona Ryder is become a STAR!! And not just in the eyes of your mom, in the eyes of the WORLD.

2. Date a movie-star:

In her early days, Winona dated her Edward Scissorhands co-star, THE Johnny Depp, to conquer the universe as the world's ultimate super-couple. In a 1993 interview Depp was quoted, "I’d die for her, I love her so much. I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s going through a lot right now. I wish I could just kiss away the pain, make it go away, stop it, kill it! If she, you know... I don’t know what I would do. I’d kill myself. I love that girl. I love her. I love her almost more than I love myself." I don't know, I think he loved her.

3. Channel your inner tom-boy:

Try light-wash high waisted jeans, baggy tees and combat boots to embody Winona's effortlessly cool street style. If you're feeling SUPER WINONA, hit the town in head to toe black blazer and dress pants. This look is hotter than the asteroid that destroyed the dinosaur's, so bring them along in suitcase form to remember them by.

4. Have a slight criminal record: 

In 2001, Winona was charged with stealing $5,500 worth of clothing from a department store on Saks Fifth Ave. How glamorous! Not really, though, shoplifting is against the law! Don't do it! Kill someone instead, or something.

5. Never age, ever:

The scientists are wrong. Disregard aging! Stay youthful forever! If Winona can do it, you can MUST. Looking as flawless as ever at the premiere of her new film "The Iceman" at the Venice Film Festival 2012 (aged 65!!!!! How does she do it!!! Okay, she's like 40).

That's about it. You're welcome, and good luck on your journey to becoming Winona Ryder.

*If anyone has followed these precise instructions and woke up the next day as Winona Ryder please contact me as I have been trying for years without success.

NYFW: gold, lace, betsey johnson, oh my!

THE BEST: VERA WANG SS 2013

 

Vera Wang does no wrong with her spring/summer collection contrived of royal deep greens, blues, gold, and black with accents of delicate lace fit for a queen. This was definitely one of my favorite collections this year so far. Vera Wang never disappoints.

THE... UM... CRAZI...EST: BETSEY JOHNSON SS 2013

Don't get me wrong, I love Betsey Johnson, and maybe it was just too early in the morning when I was working on this, but well...okay just look.

Can we also take a moment to acknowledge the models expressions in these photos? They're all, "STARE AWAY, PEASANTS!" And I'm just like, "Honey, you're wearing a raccoon." I feel like this is a dream, or I'm in the scene in Lizzie McGuire when she's trying on all those outfits to wear to the concert where she's impersonating a famous Italian singer, who is also played by Hilary Duff, but just with brown hair and an Academy Award winning Italian accent.

Aside from all of that though, I did find some pieces of her collection to be absolutely fabulous (that kind of reminded me of the Spice Girls) so I'm kind of contradicting myself here but IT'S MY LIFE.

SPORTY SPICE: Please take note of the shark-boobage.

GINGER SPICE: Austin Powers inspired? I don't care I love it.

SCARY SPICE: Skulls complete with finger-less gloves to create full-throttle badass-ery (I just said that sentence)

BABY SPICE: I'm getting a cavity just looking at how adorable and sweet this outfit is. Frills!!!!!

Sorry, Posh, your little Gucci dress, or your little Gucci dress, nor your little Gucci dress didn't make the cut this time.