So about a year ago I decided to procrastinate on my homework and in the process met this group of angsty teens with a well rounded vocabulary, and we hit it off right away. Every night they'd get into all kinds of shenanigans as I just sat back and watched because I was the shy introvert type, and they understood that. I watched them interact, grow, and go through innumerable different hairstyles and lovers both younger and older (much, much older...), and soon I found myself declining offers for social gatherings with my other, less dramatic friends because they did this weird thing where they were three dimensional and actually talked back to me and didn't live inside my T.V. screen and it really freaked me out. So one can understand my emotional instability as last night marked the final moments with the people I had grown to know so well and whose problems seemed so creepily relevant to mine at the time (except I didn't sleep with my english teacher or have a boyfriend who turned out to be gay, nor do I have a drinking problem). And while it seems psychotic to have such an emotional attachment to a fictional television show... - I actually have no retort to defend myself against this I don't know where I was going with that. I THINK WHAT I'M GOING TO DO is, in order to ease my pain over the loss of Dawson's Creek which clearly signifies the inevitable loss of my adolescence, I will share with you some of the best/worst/questionable moments I experienced with Dawson, Pacey, Joey, Jen, Andie, Jack, Audrey, and Grams (GRAMS4EVER) most of which will be hilarious (maybe just to me??) because let's get real, this show was sometimes so ridiculous and unrealistic in the best most awesome way and I am allowed to make complete fun of it wow this is long I DON'T CARE GIVE ME THIS THIS IS ALL I HAVE LEFT. Let's do this.
Who can forget the woman who made little 15 year old Pacey a man within the first few episodes? I can see how his vast variety of Hawaiian t-shirts and awful 90's haircut could lead to girls falling at their knees around him (seriously, no sarcasm Pacey you are a dreamboat), but his english teacher. Really. I will never understand. Not only did they get it on (ON CAMERA NO LESS accidentally tho), Pacey, nor Ms.
Robinson Jacobs, suffered any consequences other than her peacin' town for the sake of her reputation. Sweet deal, Pacey. Although, his karma finally caught up with him when in the final episodes he's again sleeping with a woman twice his age at least, and her husband comes and blah blah blah he still looks hot with a black eye.
And then there's the end of Season 1 where Jen helps Joey in the pageant and SUDDENLY through her awful mouse-like rendition of "On My Own" from Les Miserables, Dawson realizes he's developed feelings for his tom-boy BFF because god forbid she can look pretty when she slaps on a dress and some makeup. Look at that strut!!!!! But then she refuses his advances because SHE'S AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN even though she is clearly obsessed with him.
Although I am whole-heartedly a complete Joey/Pacey lover, I actually found Pacey and Andie's relationship to be one of my favorite's on the show: "I'm afraid because you're the single most important being to ever grace my existence." You know, this is before she becomes even more neurotic than she was before, dies her hair black and starts to see her dead brother around so she leaves forever to Europe.
When Jack poses naked for Joey, because apparently in this season she's a modern day Picasso, and Jack get's all...excited...everyone's like omg are they finally gonna seal the deal they have been dating for like a week now oh wait of course not it's Joey, whose heart will forever be belonging to Dawson and oh yeah Jack's gay now.
Anyone remember when Jen becomes besties with the literally worst, but most interesting person on the show and then kills her? Well not really, but it's sounds cooler than Abby Morgan got way too drunk so she falls from the pier and drowns and Jen drunkenly jumps in after her but she is also way too drunk so she leaves Abby, whose body I guess sunk straight to the bottom because that's what happens when you're a bitch, and seeks comfort in Joey and Dawson who were planning on making out. Abby is never mentioned again until the last episode where the gang is sharing memories over a couple beers because OMG they are legal adults now!! And Jen drunkenly (irony!) brings her up and then laughs about it. No one else really found it that funny.
I think one of my favorite episodes was "Escape from Witch Island" in Season 3, where the gang goes out to this supposedly haunted island so Dawson can Blair-witch it up with his handy dandy camcorder, and end up staying after hours and all sorts of spooky shit goes down. Joey and Dawson are still trying to figure out what's going on between them and I guess Jen and Pacey are just bored of being the third wheels, so they attempt at a little "friend's with benefits" scenario because we all know how well THAT always ends up. They are interrupted in the middle of a steamy make-out sesh in the back of the abandoned haunted church by ghostly screams and shaking of the venue in which I was even freaking out. SCARY STUFF. And as they conveniently find a boat and get the hell outta there, the lady who operates the island is just standing in the darkness like:
Notice how most of these are about Pacey? Exactly. The seasons in which Joey and Pacey are together are best because he is the most romantic son of a bitch I've ever seen I get tingles just thinking about it what. Years of bickering and taunting turns into love for these two. I don't even know what else to say other than PERFECTION. It really kills me, you guys.
I'm sorry but HOW can I not include this I mean just LOOK AT IT everybody knows this Joey-chose-Pacey-and-not-me face. This tainted my image of Dawson for a really long time. Dawson Leery? More like, Dawson TEARY!!! AHAHAHAH!!! Whatever.
To continue with faces that make you cringe...Aw Andie! Your fairy-esque makeup and hairdo for the prom was so fitting for the "Enchanted Creatures" theme!!! Oh what? There was no theme for this prom? It was just a regular old prom?? Oh...THEN WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT.
I love the episode when Joey gets mugged in the fifth season. It's so random and it's a WHOLE EPISODE on it. No one else. Just Joey and her charming mugger who is played by the guy who plays Jennifer Garner's hockey playing boyfriend in 13 Going on 30 and the whole time I couldn't take his gun wielding seriously as I was picturing him stripping to "Ice, Ice, Baby".
Ahhhh Eddie. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. Beautiful Eddie. since Joey is perfect in every way and always gets what she wants, other than that one C+ her english professor gave her, Beautiful Eddie belongs to Joey for the final season until he disappears (THREE TIMES) and they are to never be. Beautiful Eddie was the best. He was so beautiful. With his shaggy brown hair, plethora of denim on denim and then that signature red puffy vest. You have my heart.
The Christmas episode in the last season is literally my favorite Christmas episode on any show EVER. It's just a gosh darn knee slapper. Audrey is still secretly battling with alcoholism and gets so hammered at Christmas dinner and starts calling out everyone on their bullshit. It's awesome and totally awkward. Then she yells something like, "Merry Christmas Scum-Suckers!!" and runs out of the house grabbing Pacey's keys on the way and NO ONE FOLLOWS HER. I mean, I know she completely embarrassed every one of you but she's clearly wasted and just left like where is she going to go?! It obviously can't be good, yet everyone just carries on and BAM!!!! She drives the car into the Leery's living room. Your own faults. Although, I was expecting a little bit of this:
But, Audrey gets off the hook and Dawson ain't even mad.
Alcoholism can be fun!
The final episode of the series is obviously the best. Loose ends are tied, the whole Dawson-Joey-Pacey love triangle is finally settled once and for all, and tragedy strikes. I don't think I have ever cried so hard out of sadness and joy as I did in this episode. I'm not going to say anything because you just have to watch for yourself but I think these two pictures say it all.
Although these are just a select few things I wanted to share about the show and delicately make fun of to make me feel like less of a loser, I didn't want to waste your precious time fan-girling all over the place. If you WANT to have your precious time wasted, give me a call and we will cry about it or visit this website: http://abcteenteevee.wordpress.com/ it is the best website ever run by a hilarious anonymous author who gave me her blessing to share her site here with you. She too, shares a love for cheesy 90's television shows and I think you will find her far more interesting than me. So go away and leave me to play Paula Cole on repeat, although, this will not be the last time you hear from me and the gang. Sorry.